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ChiefCanoodler

I'm M, 34, Straight

Is it OK to lie a bit in your online dating profile?

Personally, I say NO. Tell it like it is and someone will either be interested in who you are for you, or they won't be.

I've always heard that guys tend to overstate their height and women understate their age but never actually experienced it (although I've certainly experienced the out-of-date pictures that were the impetus for AccuPic(R) on this site).

Well, yesterday a woman I had been emailing told me (at least in advance of the date!) that she was 2 years older than her stated age in her profile. Reason given was "for search purposes". Well, in the end we didn't go out because I felt that lying there was a possible tell about how that person feels about lying in general - and also that it was getting things off on the wrong foot. If I'd known her true age from her profile, it wouldn't have been an age I'd have had a problem with.

But I wonder if I'm alone on this. Do you find it acceptable or almost expect that a person is exaggerating or lying about one or more things in their online dating profile?

Comments:

The New York Times Magazine's ethicist weighed in on a very similar topic today. It seems he is OK with fudging your age a bit in the profile as long as you fully disclose your true age in the profile itself (i.e. don't wait for later interactions like in my example above. For the full text: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/30/magazine/30FOB-Ethicist-t.html
Posted: 31 May, '10

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